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        ab1  32, Female, Mississippi, USA - 2 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    10:26 PM EDT
       

    I'm listening to the country song "Tim MacGraw" and it reminds me of my ex b/c some of the stuff in there I can truly relate to. I can also relate to that song "Don't Forget About Us" because the chorus is something that me and the guy I'm in love with has done time and time again at his aunt's house. I always have a blast with him no matter what mood I was in before. He is so awesome. He is the only person that has ever been able to make me laugh when I think about my friends death, and believe me plenty of people have tried. When I'm with him it's like all of my worries and promblems fade away. I feel so secure, safe, and I know that he won't let nothing bad happen to me. He's so awesome, I truly wish he loved me back. Every since I found out he didn't I haven't even been able to look at another guy without thinking and crying about him. People around here say that I'm very strong physically, but from the mental abuse that I had been through by the age of five was too much and I've been with it for 13 years. When I'm with that one special guy though I know I can be myself and not worry about being judged and it's like all of those years of mental abuse don't exist whether we're alone or with a bunch of people. He's the only guy my cousins, dad, and uncles approve of. He's so awesome and sweet. What I'd give for him to love me like I love him.
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    2 comment(s) - 09:29 PM - 11/10/2006
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        forgotten  35, Female, United Kingdom - 17 entries
    28
    Oct 2006
    11:30 AM ACST
       

    I honestly jim, i honestly duno wats happened, i i dont know what else to say! my heads in such a mess lately, and so are my feelings, so i dont really know how to make it sound like it makes sense? ARGH! this doesnt even make sense itself lol, :P did the song not explain? i need to know what gaps need fillin in ... and then mayb then i could fill them in? i think that would be easiest. i recieved a text from chris tellin me to check my emails and that he heard it was somethin with me bein jelous of that girl? thats not wat i meant by the email btw.... i didnt mean it like that and hope thats not wat u think. i mean i guess i prob am jelous lol... but thats not wat i meant. see jim im not even makin sense to myself? im sittin here in australia a million miles away from you at 12:13 am writin am email to one of my closest friends tryin to expain how i feel whilst listenin to kate rusby - who will sing me lullabies. i just dont understand my own feelings atm! jesus christ this is deeep lol... oh dear god what am i doin? what the hell am i doin? i honestly dont know... i actually feel sick, i just wish i could understand myself, so i could tell you, it just i duno sometimes scares me how alike we are, in so many different ways... our interests,our humour,our opinions,our dreams, our music, even places we both love ...cough cough australia :P and just things for instance since iv moved away i know people have made an effort too stay in contact but you ALWAYS email back, always send me songs that have a meaning and that you know i'll love. you always make a time for me on msn, you dont give me shit advice saying ' i know how it feels' or ' itl get better' you listen your always a breathe of fresh air - dont laugh its the best de scription :P but its true, a breathe of fresh air too talk too... were always honest... you dont judge me. you dont care if i block some knob on msn ...you dont care about my past... you have helped me with so MANY problems... well thats about it dont want to give you TOO MANY compliments now do I :) Dont want jim gettin a too big head now do we... no no :) well i hope this has helped clear things up a lil bit... and please leme know what blanks i need to fill in :) ' I love you i do ' :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx thats the email i sent him... do i regret it? not sure... have i made the right decision? not sure... am i a knob? YEAP lol
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        ab1  32, Female, Mississippi, USA - 2 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    9:51 PM EDT
       

    This November it'll be a full year since one of my bestfriends commited suicide. I'm in love with one of my friends but he said he don't like me like that, but his cousin thinks otherwise by the way he acts. My mom and I are always fighting and arguing. My Dad keeps having to go to the coast and leaving me with my Mom. It's a drag and it's bad because he's the only one that can keep her from jumping down my throat every five seconds, even when I haven't done anything for her to. I've been shot twice, stabbed three times, I've had three of my bestfriends die. One of my favorite cousins abandoned me for five years and the next time I saw him he had a baby on the way, a five year old son he just found out about, and a five year old step daughter. My cousin that has always been there for me when others weren't has been acting so different these past two years. Every since he started dating one of my bestfriends he's not been his self. He's been treating me like a dog and the only time he truly has anything to do with me is when I'm talking to a guy and flirting. Then, he scares them off and then walks away and the guy won't get back near me. I miss my old cousin so much. Here lately everythings been going by so fast and everything and everyone is changing on me. People say with time everything gets better, but for me it seems to get worse and harder. Well, I need to go deal with someone right now, bye.
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    1 comment(s) - 09:04 PM - 11/10/2006
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        gunsnroses  33, Female, Greece - 16 entries
    28
    Oct 2006
    9:10 AM EDT
       

    oh yes it is life. but we're not sure if it's the right word to describe this long journey !
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        CallyGirl101  32, Female, Indiana, USA - First entry!
    27
    Oct 2006
    8:59 AM EDT
       

    I have a neice, Naomi, she is really getting on my nerves. She lives with me and I keep telling her to go away but she won't leave me alone. Even worse, she is only a year younger than me and I hardly get any privacy. She is really starting to bug me!
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        Jane  58, Female, Indiana, USA - 50 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    5:31 AM EDT
       

    Tuesday was back to work at the store. I have several projects that I want to complete before I make my move to Charlotte. One is to help my Mom launch her new adventure of Jud’s Own Heat and Eat Meals. She is preparing fully cooked meals that need to just be heat up and dinner is ready. So fare we have prepared a good selection of meals and they have been selling quite well with our existing customers. We have a few ideas to try and increase sales and will be working on those in the next couple of weeks. We would ideally like people who need family portions to preorder their food. I have also taken on the task of cleaning out the upstairs of the store. For anyone that does not know it has about 90 years of stuff in it and needs a serious going thru. There are some treasures but mostly just a lot of old ****. We are hoping by cleaning we can get the catering supplies much more organized. Not much exciting now just work, work, work!
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        jleigh09  39, Female, United Kingdom - 35 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    10:10 PM WEDT
       

    not alot happening at the mo just trying to get christmas sorted out. get all the presents all done and dusted. went to stevens today we have sorted things out and r talking again we both argue and try winding each other up but after 2 days we just realise how much we love each other and cant do without eeach other we r lost when we arnt togeather. but we r fine now that all taht metters we couldnt kep our hands of each other today it was great.
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        gunsnroses  33, Female, Greece - 16 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    4:55 AM EDT
       

    i'm sick of all this shit around me
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        iNjAy  30, Female, Texas, USA - 7 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    3:08 PM EDT
       

    I think that I give spunk and life as a friend to others...but they gain a trustworthy and loyal and funny friend by knowing me. but, i dont like thinking that i am more than i am or pretending that i am anything.
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        blackroseangel  34, Female, Louisiana, USA - 27 entries
    27
    Oct 2006
    1:31 PM CDT
       

    i give my loyalty and respect to my freinds. i be the best freind. and i get nothing but backstabbing. so i wihsed i nvr gave my friend ship to everybody but the ppl that deserved it. like my bff noor. she is the best freind. ever
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